October 10th of this year is the day Chris and I become husband and wife. I'm excited, nervous, scared and have so many pictures of how I want our day to turn out going through my head.
So far about 20 people have been invited and majority have said yes including old primary school friends of mine who I invited as they mean something to me, but to be honest I didn't think I meant very much to them so was very shocked to see that they were very happy to be invited and be a part of Chris and my big day.
As of today there is 98days until our wedding and we haven't organised a single thing other than our celebrant who is more than happy to marry us.
Chris is working all this weekend and has asked me to make a list of things that we need to do for our wedding and also to research things online when I get a spare minute. Monday will be Chris's day off work so we will be getting stuck into organising our wedding together which I can't wait for.
So far I have looked up dresses to see what sort I might like even though I have already found one I love, but I just wanted to make sure it is the one for me. I've also looked up restaurants in our area and found maybe a few that would be nice as we wont be having an actual reception and instead are having a nice casual sit down meal with all our guests at the restuarant we choose to dine in for the night.
I've looked up music for our day and found a lot of romantic lovey dovey songs that I love so will have to have a CD out of them.
I had better get back to researching as there is still a lot to do and so little time to do it in with 4 kids. Thank you for reading and I will update again soon.
Amelia bought home her school report this afternoon. I'm very happy with what most of it said, but it says she is at a grade one level when it comes to her writting. Silly as it may sound that made me feel really hurt because both Amelia and I are forever working on her writting skills. Amelia loves story writting so she is always writting stories, notes or cards for other people and myself.
We work on her reading which according to her report is fine and where it should be for this time of the year even though we probably work more on her writting than reading, but her writting is something we have worked so hard on since she was really little. I personally feel that Amelia's writting has come a long way this year so why is her teacher saying otherwise.
Thank god Monday is parent teacher interviews because I'm going to be asking why she has said Amelia's writting is bad. It's insulting to see that my little girl has a passion for writting and its very rare to see her without a pen in her hand and she is great at story writting, BUT her teachers says she is at a grade one level....Thats crap and I know it. Watch out Mrs teacher bitch because this Mummy is soooo not happy with you.
The other night whilst cooking dinner with my 2 older children my fringe kept going in my eyes. Usually I would pin it back when it starts to annoy me, but this time I decided to take the scissors to my hair and cut my fringe. I'm so glad that I did because I personally believe this look suits me.
Last Friday (11th June) our twins Kaiden and Hollie were given their first taste of food...Farax, pear and apple. Kaiden loved being fed instantly where as Hollie kept spitting the food straight back out. I thought that maybe she isn't as ready as her twin brother so just kept spooning the food into Kaidens mouth who was welcoming the food with a wide open mouth.
The next day when I was feeding Kaiden again Hollie became very jelous that her brother was getting something that she wasn't so I tried her on a spoon of food which she loved and kept asking for more and more and more.
They are both being fed around 15:30 to 16:00 every day and so far so good with everything. I've made sure that as well as making up a bowl of food for them they each have a water bottle just incase they choke on the food at any stage as well as having sips of water during eating time which they both seem to love as well which I'm very pleased with.
For many years now I had noticed that I was always down in the dumps no matter what people did to help cheer me up. I always turned a blind eye to all the signs of depression that I had hoping that maybe one day it will just stop and go away.
I felt like I could handle being so down up until I gave birth to Kaiden and Hollie (my twins). As soon as I had them I wanted to be happy, but instead I felt overwhelmed, scared and frozen on the spot like I didn't know how to function any more.
Our twins are now 5months old and I had managed to just keep ignoring my depression until I started having a go at Chris on a daily basis for things he hadn't even done or had any control over.
I ended up making a doctors appointment which I took Chris along to. I couldn't even bring myself to tell the doctor that I thought I had depression so I asked Chris to tell him for me. The doctor was great and so nice as well as putting my mind at ease that it didn't make me a failure to admite that I feel down and not motivated to even go out and talk to people most of the time.
I was given a script for ZOLOFT and refered to see a councillor who I see next Tuesday (22nd June). I'm hoping to get a lot of things off my chest and hopefully she can help me to dig deep and realise the full extent of whats been going on to make me come to feeling this way.
This is my sister Jen with my very adorable nephew Jack Leo and my own pride and joy Amelia Saige who is every bit like me or so I'm told.
Late last year Jen and I had a major blue to the point that we stopped talking for a few months and I personally wouldn't even allow my own Mum and Dad to talk about her whilst I was visiting at their house. It hurt not having contact with my own sister because as much as I hate to admite it I have always looked up to her and wanted to be just like her. Maybe not so much these days but as a teenager I wanted to do everything she did and dress like she did.
February of this year (2010) Jen and I started talking again due to her being the bigger person and coming to visit me, my newly born twins and my older 2 children who she had missed dearly. I actually didn't think I would see her again after the fight that we had last year, but I'm so glad that we are back in contact and I now feel a lot closer to her than ever before. I love having my sister in my life and I get to watch my nephew grow up who I've already missed seeing grow up most of his life due to living in the country.
I love you JenJen and I'm glad that you had the courage to come to my house and make peace back in February because if you hadn't we would be missing out on so much of each others lives and each others kids lives.
After Chris and I became serious in our relationship and had Joshua who of course took on Chris' surname of LIDDIARD. I have thought, discussed with people and many times researched changing my eldest daughter Amelia's surname who shares my surname of GRASSICK to LIDDIARD.
Amelia never took on her own fathers name of DAY due to he and I being too rocky in our relationship at the time of Amelia's birth. I also didn't like the sound of my daughters name being AMELIA DAY because to me it sounded like some sort of celebration instead of a name for my little girl to carry.
I now have 3 kids to Chris who of course all carry his surname and part of me very much wants to change Amelia's name to match her siblings, but then another part of me feels guilty about changing her name to another mans name that biologically isn't her Daddy. I know that he has been there since she was just a few years old and has been really great with her especially recently, but it just feels strange that I was never willing to give her the name of the guy that helped to create her but have no issue giving her another guys name.
I don't expect comments to this blog as it was more just me venting to get it off my mind.
