Mother In Black

For many years now I had noticed that I was always down in the dumps no matter what people did to help cheer me up. I always turned a blind eye to all the signs of depression that I had hoping that maybe one day it will just stop and go away.
I felt like I could handle being so down up until I gave birth to Kaiden and Hollie (my twins). As soon as I had them I wanted to be happy, but instead I felt overwhelmed, scared and frozen on the spot like I didn't know how to function any more.
Our twins are now 5months old and I had managed to just keep ignoring my depression until I started having a go at Chris on a daily basis for things he hadn't even done or had any control over.
I ended up making a doctors appointment which I took Chris along to. I couldn't even bring myself to tell the doctor that I thought I had depression so I asked Chris to tell him for me. The doctor was great and so nice as well as putting my mind at ease that it didn't make me a failure to admite that I feel down and not motivated to even go out and talk to people most of the time.
I was given a script for ZOLOFT and refered to see a councillor who I see next Tuesday (22nd June). I'm hoping to get a lot of things off my chest and hopefully she can help me to dig deep and realise the full extent of whats been going on to make me come to feeling this way.